Four years before I did my TEDx Talk, “Survivor’s Guide to Jealousy”, I was sitting in my life coach’s office discussing the trajectory of my work life.
“It sounds like you want to reach a wide audience with your messaging,” she said.
Suddenly I had clarity around what I had always known but had never put into coherent thoughts.
“Like a TED Talk.” she added.
And then I knew in a hot flash of awareness, this dream had been sitting at the edges of my consciousness, waiting to be found. At the time I was racing up and down the UK delivering diversity and inclusion training to a range of organisations. I loved my work and I also wanted variety. I spent my spare time devouring educational books, articles and podcasts on relationships and personal growth.
As soon as the TED Talk seed had been planted I knew my theme would be jealousy, having recently embarked on a non-monogamous queer relationship I knew that my ongoing challenges with jealousy were at the forefront of my personal development work. I had already been forensically educating myself around the topic.
When the pandemic hit and my work dried up for months, I returned to my positive experiences of having a life coach and started to research coach training programmes. Radiant Coaches Academy had the exact balance I was looking for: inclusive practices and policies, a good mix of business guidance and a spiritual focus, flexible studies, and generous payment plans.
During my holistic life coach training I had a lightbulb moment in one of CEO and founder Dez Stephens’ zoom training classes on niching. She asked us what we would like to spend 24 hours talking about. As I gazed over to my bookshelves bursting with relationship books I knew my path was already chosen!
When I started working with coaching clients in 2020, I listened to those who talked about their jealousy experiences. I watched as coaching helped with their mindset shifts prompting new practices and behaviours that positively influenced how they lived their romantic lives.
Gradually, from my education, personal experience, and working with my coaching clients, I developed my TEDx Talk. With the support of the brilliant TEDx Kingston-Upon-Thames team, including weekly mentor sessions, the talk took shape.
On the day of the TEDx Talk there were twelve of us, all nervous and excited in equal measure. We were at the beautiful 900-seater Rose Theatre in Kingston-Upon-Thames, London, and I felt completely ready. Fortunately for me I have a background in theatre, performance, and public speaking. Also the event had been moved three times due to the pandemic, so I had over a year to rehearse.
Walking out onto the stage, having the warmth of the spotlight bathe me, positioning myself on the famous red dot carpet, every single moment was energetically amplified within a place of joy. I loved it! My sixteen minutes flew buy. I remember parts of it…
· my best friend’s “whoop” as I walked on stage (you can hear her in the YouTube recording!)
· the first time the audience laughed and I felt a softening in my jaw
· the intense silence as I opened up about the painful parts of a particular relationship
· the incredible warmth at the end from an audience who had just witnessed true vulnerability
· the fact that some gave me a standing ovation (and not just my bestie!) and others came up to me in the interval to thank me for the powerful messaging and valuable tools they had learnt
Sirleaf Ellen Johnson, former Liberian president says:
“The size of your dreams must always exceed your current capacity to achieve them. If your dreams do not scare you they’re not big enough. If you start off with a small dream you may not have much left when it is fulfilled because along the way Life will test your dreams and make demands on you.”
It took me four years from realising I wanted to do a TEDx Talk and doing it. It would have been three years if there hadn’t been a pandemic in the middle. The point is, the Universe does not tell you WHEN your dream will happen. You can tell the Universe WHAT you want your dream to look like and energetically and consciously start to move towards it. Coaches will help you with this.
Check out my Law of Attraction blog post on how we can all call in our hopes and dreams.
What do you dare to dream of? How will you feel when you can have achieved this dream? I can tell you how I felt after my TEDx Talk… empowered, fulfilled, and in full knowing that I am following my purpose.